Choosing Faith

So this is it. This is where faith is shown to be fact or fiction. Is it real? Is it all it is intended to be? Is it worth the price I am paying?

This is a harsh reality. Standing on a belief that I will test by stepping out without certainty, without a safety net or caution, and is beyond any reasonable thought. I'm compelled by forces beyond myself. The passion to push onward is not mustered from within. I am not a successful wishful, or positive thinker. The act of faith defies reason which screams at me with all its fears and desperation. I hear and want to return to my comfort and caution. But as I begin to consider the cost, I immediately choose the pain of faith rather than the numb existence; the illusion of control and safety. Because, on the other side of this exercise I will be alive like no other time in my life. I will have a story of real life adventure. It will be a story of apparent tragedy turned to amazing miracles and living fully filled with joy and hope, and grandness. On the other side of this I will again be able to say what a mighty God He is. I will again tell of His love for me; how this great and powerful God knows me, and ...wants to spend time with His child. Unbelievable.

Father, I believe in who You are. I am not lost in this dark woods of a life. I am with You. You are with me. I look around. The view is frightening. I do not know the way. I cannot survive alone. I haven't the slightest clue as to how to navigate through this life maze. Alone I get lost. Alone I become weary of the pulsating fear. Alone I become harsh and mean or indifferent and defeated. Without You I must numb myself or erode to insanity. Realizing my need for You is essential. Choosing to walk with You, trusting You know where we're going, believing You are strong and love me, and You know the way: These are the reasons I choose to keep my hand in Yours and willfully walk with You.

You are a powerful and resourceful God. You are not broke. You are not in a recession. Yes, You are and will be my provider. You are and will be my strength. Yes, You are and will be my peace and joy and comfort in troubled times. But more importantly than all of these is that You are my Father.

And I am Your son.